


Conversion Rates

by Lumennex



Category: The Centricide (Webseries), The Realicide (Webseries)
Genre: Actual Plot But Tons of Smut, Ancap being a TERRIBLE PERSON, Ancom Deserves Better, Capitalism Going Too Far, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack and Angst, Dark Crack, Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, Fluff and Crack, Forced Prostitution, Gluten Free Avocados, Hurt and comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Math, Misgendering, Other, Someone Give Ancom a Hug, Think Ouran High but Gayer and Smuttier and Overall Just Worse, too many tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:49:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24974857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumennex/pseuds/Lumennex
Summary: Ancom thought they were going to have a normal day, pick up a few party favors from Ancap and go chill with the rest of the Anarchists. However, things don’t go as planned and they wake up in the heart of Ancapistan, in Ancap’s brothel, being told that he will no longer tolerate Ancom skipping out on paying him. Join Ancom in their journey to freedom in this crackfic that should have never been written.
Relationships: Ancap/Ancom, Conservative/Ancom, Referenced Random Others/ Ancom
Comments: 31
Kudos: 63





	1. Seductively Slides You Two Cents (vague Ancap/Ancom)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Angie (my feck’d up discord homie)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Angie+%28my+feck%E2%80%99d+up+discord+homie%29).



Ancom’s boots were heavy against the pavement, they were tightly wound as usual, even more so because, well-. Their fists balled in their hoodie jacket. Ancap wasn’t exactly the best guy they knew, but when Ancom was craving something stronger than the weed they grew with Queer Anarchism in their hangout spot, Ancap was usually the person to go to.

Ancom wouldn’t describe themself as the best at keeping a job for too long, or really accepting much responsibility at all. And, unfortunately, because capitalism was still a thing _somehow_ , they needed money to buy things. The fact that Ancap would often part with the more fun substances for a few bucks and a bit of mutual fun was the best deal Ancom could find. And, besides, ever since Ancap had gotten a computer the prices he gave them were absurdly low! At least, they thought so. If Ancom didn’t know any better, they’d think Ancap had actually developed the ability to use emotions, or like, empathy, and had developed a crush or something on them. Since Ancom did know better, the scrappy anarchist decided it was their overwhelmingly good seduction skills that were the cause of the recent discounts.

The bell chimed as Ancom opened the door to the house Ancap kept on the edge of the Overton Window. Like most things, Ancap treated his dwelling as purely business. Barely two feet away from the front door was an overwhelming den desk, decked out with a cash register. Behind it, in a plush office chair, was Ancap, who spun around just as the bell’s tinking ring was fading off. Ancom rolled their eyes, once again questioning how their friends all viewed them as the ‘stereotype of queerness’ when Ancap was constantly doing dramatic, flamboyant shit like this. He was even wearing his sunglasses inside, again!

”Oh,” Ancap said, stiffly waving one hand in greeting in his normal languid voice, “why, if it isn’t Kitty himself-“

“ _Quem._ ” they softly interjected, but it went ignored. Their friends were always doing this, not that Ancap was much of a friend. It wasn’t worth really arguing about at the moment, but it was still a sore spot.

”What are you looking for today? Heroin? Cocaine? Fancy Porn? A turbospeed MACH-5 vibrator powered by leaked military technology? Cocaine but dyed fun colors like from that on TV show? Bootleg anime? Hmmmmmm?”

They paused for a moment, processing.

“Wait, which anime did you say you have? No! Wait I’m, um, fuCK. A-ancap, no, do you just have some DMT? Maybe a sheet of acid or two? Or some E? Like, our normal stuff, y’know?”

Ancap scoffed, as if deeply offended, “Of course I do! And I guess we’ll table the anime. So, the typical Tuesday?” 

”Y-yeah!!!” Ancom perked up, their toothy grin almost visible under their face mask.

“Right then, your total comes to .015, will you be paying by card, e-transfer, or-“ the immediate wiggling of Ancom’s eyebrows caused Ancap’s lips to tighten, and for him to sigh deeply, “of course. Will any of that be in cash?” 

”Keep the change, Ancap,” Anarkitty said in their most seductive voice as they slid two pennies across the the table, “I, uh, I don’t even think half pennies exist! Anyway!”

Ancap couldn’t help but cringe, and the stupid wink Ancom gave him after saying that didn’t help. He reached in the leftmost drawer on his desk, and pulled out a ziplock bag full of a rainbow of strange pills, shaking them in front of Ancom. It was snatched just as soon as it was presented, and Ancap was eying the other intently as they dipped their hand into the baggy, brought them to their mouth, and dry swallowed three of the bunch.

Ancom almost immediately felt warmth balling in their chest, their head joining along. They pulled down their face mask and flashed a lopsided grin to the man still seated before him, “Do you still accept tips?”

It was hard to tell how the posh, yellow suited man was looking at him with those sunglasses, but he stood up, and as had become their custom, began leading Ancom down a nearby hall, into a bedroom.The second the door had closed, Ancom was lapping at Ancap’s neck, snaking a hand to loosen his tie. They barely registered Ancap pushing them until they had fallen onto his plush bed. They scrambled for perch until realizing they were fine on the bed, purring slightly as their body got warmer and they saw Ancap unbuttoning his suit, approaching them.

Ancap’s lips covered their own, and Ancom moaned into their partner’s mouth as Ancap groped them and began peeling their clothes off. Ancom lazily wrapped their arms around Ancap, humming as Ancap claimed ownership of their mouth, bucking their hips against the hand that was pawing at their crotch. Everything was happening so slowly and so quickly all at once. Ancom could barely process anything, the warmth getting stronger and their vision getting blurrier and they were digging their nails into Ancap’s back, unaware of how tightly they were holding onto the man on top of them until suddenly, everything was-

Static.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, anyone reading this I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Ancapistan in the next. I will add tags/characters/pairings as they become relevant. Thank you~!


	2. Welcome to Consensual Sex Incorporated! (Conservative/Ancom & Ancap/Ancom)

Their entire body felt like lead. Everything was heavy, even their eyelids, which they fought to open. When the finally did, their vision was blurry, and their head spun violently. Ancom gritted their teeth, trying to bring their arms down to cover their face from the overwhelming swirl of color and light as their eyes adjusted. Confused, they found they could not, thick and coarse rope biting into their wrists as they gave another tug.

"W-wha..."

"Ah, Ancom," their eyes where adjusting, and though they could hear Ancap speaking, they didn't see him, "It's good to see you're finally awake. Now, we can talk business properly."

"Ancap, _what the actual fuCK DUDE_ , where am I? What the fuck?? Is?!? THIS?"

"You're in my brothel, and if you'd just calm down and be a bit more rational-"

"Your WHAT? Ancap, what the hell do you mean, CALM DOWN," they tugged their arms more violently, but there was no give. As Ancom's eyes adjusted, they could see they were on a sheeted mattress on the floor, in a relatively bare room. The lighting was dim, and made it hard to tell the true color of the floor or the walls. Glancing down at themselves, they saw they were, thankfully still fully clothed and wearing the same hoodie and jeans they'd had on picking up from Ancap, however long ago that was. They let out a shaky breath they didn't know they had been holding, and tugged their arms again, becoming increasingly frustrated, "what is rational about this, you fucking asshole??"

"There is no need to be _rude_ , Anarkitty. Frankly, I've been letting your tab go far too long. Even with the sexual favors, at the going rate what you owe me for all the goods I've provided you is, quite frankly, obscene," Ancom finally noticed a blinking camera on the far right wall of the room, and what they could only assume was an intercom. At least that explained why they couldn't see Ancap anywhere, but the thought made them panic even more. Ancap could be anywhere, hell, Ancom could be anywhere, and this situation was, was problematic, and immoral and just, it was bad! This was wrong and-

"...frankly, it's about time you actually worked like a functional member of society, Ancom. Earned your way in the world! I'm just helping you, you know? That's really how you should look at this, I'm helping you, so you're helping me... earn lots of money!" Had Ancap been talking this whole time? Ancom had been too lost in their panicking thoughts to notice.

"You what?"

Ancap's scoffing could be heard over the intercom, "Weren't you paying attention? Jesus Christ, Ancom, shouldn't you be sober by now?"

"I am," Ancom said bitterly, as their head continued to pound, "and it's awful. And I'm in your sex dungeon," they violently tugged their arms again, swiveling their neck to see the O-ring on the wall above that the rope was threaded through, "and TIED TO A WALL, on your fuCKING RAPE MATTRESS, in, in god knows whERE-"

"It is NOT a," Ancom could practically hear Ancap inhaling through his teeth " _rape mattress._ That is a standard issue bed provided graciously by me, the CEO of Consensual Sex Incorporated, the leading provider of consensual paid sexual relations in Ancapistan. All debtslaves," he cleared his throat and corrected himself " _employees_ of ConSe Inc are provided with a room with en suite, adequate water and food, routine mandatory STI testing, and dental, for a flat daily fee, and earn competitive market wages-"

"How is any of this consensual?? You kidnapped me! You, you drugged me!"

"Actually, you drugged yourself."

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up, Ancap, this isn't ok, you... y-you, untie me!! Right. Now. Let me go home!"

"You can go home once you pay off your debt to me, Anarkitty. And with everything totaled out it's a little over five-"

Ancom's eyes narrowed, "You kidnapped me over $5 you demented-"

"No, five-"

"Hundred? O-okay that's most of rent but I can pay you, just-"

"NO. You child, you owe me 5 BTC, Ancapistan deals exclusively in cryptocurrencies and reddit gold, you absolute IDIOT. And at the current market rate that trades for over $40,000 USD, so stop talking for once in your life so I can get through telling you the required legalize and send in the first customer, Ancom! Why do you have to make everything so difficult?"

Ancom felt an empty sinking in their chest, the kind one felt after realizing they'd failed in a terrible way. Ancap was obviously serious about all of this, and unless Ancom found a way out of this, and fast, he'd actually be selling the liberal anarchist in this dingy little hellpit. Their breath was coming out shaky now, and they thrashed against their binds with renewed vigor, desperate, focusing more on getting free than on Ancap's words. They could hear Ancap, distantly, but they were focused more on the rope. If they could just break it, or loosen the ties enough to slip free, they could run, or at least fight whoever came in the room.

"-and after that, any leftover wages or tips can be applied to the debt or spent on better accommodations. Once the debt is paid, any employee is free to terminate their contract and leave. Until then, do your best to provide excellent customer service, as you are representing the company and our business's esteemed brand. Since this is your orientation, I'll, of course, be checking in with you personally after your first shift. Ta-ta!" There was a harsh click, and then the room became eerily silent. It only lasted a few moments, though, before Ancom could hear the faint clacking of footsteps coming towards the room. The door slid open, and Ancom could see the silhouette of a man stepping forward. Their heart was racing, pupils dilating in fear.

"Well then," the man said, in a soft, even voice, "a bit rough, but still a looker. You're a beautiful boy, you know."

The man was well dressed, seemed polite, but the fact that he was here, was approaching them while they were in this position, made Ancom seethe and hate them. They gritted their teeth, and, trying to keep their voice from shaking or anger from showing asked in a small voice, "C-can you... untie me... please?"

He smiled down at them, close enough that he was already kneeling on the mattress. Ancom instinctively curled in on themselves, scrambling back until their back was flushed against the wall. "Don't be like that," the man said in his unnervingly calm voice, drawing closer, "I'm not going to hurt you. If you're a good boy, and behave for me, I'll take off those pesky ropes for you. Is that a deal?"

"I'm not... a b-" they thought better of correcting the man, instead trying to convince him to free them, or at least delay... to put of, what was, what he'd- "I-i can be good. I'm good. You can, you can untie me now. Please?" 

He chuckled, reaching out and stroking Ancom's face, before reaching down and beginning to unbutton Ancom's jeans, "Show, don't tell."

"Wait!" Ancom cried, and for a brief second the man did pause, cocking an eyebrow at the bound anarchist, "w-wait, I can't... I d-don't even know your name..."

The man looked a bit amused, and smiled down at them before fully unzipping Ancom's pants and pulling down their jeans and underwear in a swift motion, leaving their bottom half suddenly exposed to the dank chill of the room, "If that's what's bothering you, call me Conservative."

"O-ok, Conservative I, I w-wait!" they gasped, banging their head against the wall in shock as Con's mouth enveloped their soft, exposed dick, "n-n-nnn-"

Ancom squeezed their eyes closed, grabbing tightly onto the rope binding their wrists as it was the only thing they could hold onto. As they gradually became harder, the couldn't help letting out small pants and whines, as much as they tried to stay quiet. They dared not open their eyes. As long as they didn't look, they could try and pretend that it was someone else. Anqueer or Anpac or, fuck, even Tankie. Ancom tried to focus on a fantasy, any fantasy that wasn't some random asshole who was paying Ancap to let him touch them. But the hands on their hips weren't familiar enough, Conservative's voice wasn't close to any of their friends, the sounds he made were wrong, even the way he was sucking them off was too different. They could feel their eyes watering as they were coming closer and closer to orgasm. 

They gave up. 

They opened their eyes. They stared down at the strange man in their lap, at the hands awkwardly gripping their hips as if they were bikehandles, and they banged their head against the wall, this time in purpose. They let out a deep whine, willing for it to be over.

It was almost worse that it didn't hurt, it was almost worse that they felt the pressure of impending release curling in their chest and that the satisfied hums of the man bobbing on their dick felt good.

It was going on forever.

It was terrible.

It was terrible that it wasn't actually terrible.

Ancom hated this. Ancom hated that they couldn't think of a reason to hate this.

They came.

It didn't feel good. It kind of felt good. It felt ok. Ancom felt empty, and Ancom did not feel ok.

The man wiped his mouth on his dress shirt sleeve, swallowing with a thick gulp that Ancom would have found hot in other circumstances. Instead, they just felt tired. They wanted to go home. Conservative was untying their arms, telling them they'd been such a good boy, and that it was his turn to feel good. Ancom was dazed, barely registered that their face was pressed against the mattress, whining loadingly and pawing at the sheets as a dry digit wormed it's way inside them. They coughed violently.

The intercom clicked. Ancap's voice.

 _Lubrication has been provided for you, you are advised to use it. Damaging company property or injuring employees may result in additional fees._ The man cleared his throat, flustered. Ancom barely registered it. They tried to steady their breathing, jumping a bit as the sudden sensation of cool, sticky liquid poured down their nethers. The finger was back, then two. They tried to sit up at that point, finally realizing their arms were free, finally registering they could escape, but the man draped over them was heavy. Too heavy. They bit their tongue, feeling their own blood pool in their mouth as Conservative ground them into the mattress. 

They fixed their eyes closed again. They panted. They whined. They screamed, but all the sounds were muffled with their head pressed against the bed. For a moment, they couldn't breath. For a moment, they wished they could stop breathing.

They were so exhausted. They were so tired. Their legs were twitching involuntarily as a slurry of cum and lube dripped down their thighs. They were crying, but they weren't making a sound. Ancom could feel the tears pooling, spilling, but they didn't have the energy to move from the spot the man had left them in. Ancom had no idea how much time had passed when they heard the door creak open again-

It opened six more times.

On the seventh, it was Ancap. He was looking down at them, at the crumpled heap of limbs that was Ancom, and said nothing. Ancom was silent as well. They wanted to scream at him, to stand up and deck him. Their throat was sore. Their body was tired. Everything felt wrong. Everything was wrong. They thrashed around like a wild animal when Ancap scooped them up in their arms bridal style. It made them feel weak, and small, and they were scared, and-

"A tantrum will get you nowhere, Kitty. Grow up," Ancap said in a voice that was equally as annoyed as it was uneasy. He'd brought Ancom into their room's bathroom, despite their squirming. He'd put them in the bathtub, turned on the water, watched them sit, unmoving, almost silent. Ancom was sniffling as the warm water filled the tub, and Ancap sighed, sudding up their hair, as if Ancom wasn't grown, as if Ancom couldn't take care of themself.

And the treatment was making Ancom tense, though they gradually relaxed as the warm water rose on their chest, leaning into Ancap's touch. Finally, after they had both been there in silence for quite some time, Ancom croaked, "can I go home now, Ancap?"

"Not quite yet, friend."

"You wouldn't have done this if you were my friend."

It was quiet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic will actually be the death of me. I am so sorry for writing this. Ancap is trash in this fic. Do not simp for him. Ancom deserves better and will be treated less shitty but not for a while so if you're invested I am very sorry, oh god oh jeez.


	3. A Brief Interlude in Which Ancap Realizes He May Have Fucked Up. Whoopsie! (kinda Ancap/Ancom but not really)

Ancom woke up feeling sore in every last inch of their body, throat burning, lips cracked, head full of a blinding and thumping pain. They groaned, rubbing the sleep from their eyes and slowly having the world come into focus, not recognizing the place they were as home. They must have fallen asleep at Ancap’s again, taken too many bits and bobs and accidentally knocked themself out. But this didn’t look like-

Their breath hitched, heart racing wildly in their chest as the jagged flashes of memory flooded back from the night before. They were hyperventilating. They gripped the blanket that had been draped over them at some point tightly, keenly aware that this time they had woken up without any of their clothes. Like a frightened, cornered mouse, Ancom’s eyes darted around the room, looking for where their any of their clothing could be, skin crawling, everything pain and-

The door creaked. Ancom froze, completely, rapid breaths turned into none at all. A figure of a man came through the entrance. They stared intently, eyes fixed and wide.

“Ancom, oh Anc-omphfh!” Ancap’s cheery, sing-song voice was cut off mid sentence as he was pelted in the face with a pillow. By the time he’d recovered and realized what was going on, he could only see the blanket settling on the ground, and a nude Ancom dashing into the bathroom and slamming the door closed. “Oh, what the fuck.” 

The capitalist strode across the room, tapping on the door, “Ancom?”

“F-fuck off!”

“How long are you planning to stay in there?” Ancap, turned the knob, tsking when it didn’t move. Of course Anarkitty had locked it, “You can’t just lock yourself in there, you know.”

”I, I, I can, and I am, and I’ll stay in here until you l-let me go, or you fuck offffphm-“ Ancom, who’d been pressed against the door to keep it closed, fell back to the floor when Ancap swung the door open behind them. They stared up at Ancap from the ground, watching him wave a silver key in his offhand.

“No, you can’t, you brain-fried junkie. I own the building. I can literally open any door here. I paid for the locks.” 

Ancom gritted their teeth, staring daggers before pushing themselves back into a sitting position, facing away from Ancap when they said, “Have you considered fucking off anyway, Ancap? I...” they flexed their fists, pausing to take a breath and collect themself, “I-I’m not... I can’t even. With you. Right now. S-so, just. Just, go away, Ancap. I’ve unionized. With myself. And the me, is on strike. As... as Commie would s-say, I’ve seized the means of... worker rights and... and...” they sighed, curling up their knees and plopping their head on to of them, “Just go away.”

“Ha! Hahaha! Haaaaa... oh, wait, you’re serious? Yeah. Um. No.” 

Ancap patted Ancom on the head, slowly, as if he was being required to pet a dog that might possibly have rabies. “So, it’s time to get dressed, you funky little queer. You have to not look like shit for once, because you have an important client today! The most important! Because it’s me!”

”I fucking hate you, Ancap,” Ancom mumbled, not bothering to move.

“Now, now, Anarkitty. You only booked three and a half hours of standard rate yesterday when the company quota is ten! Even including your tips, you underperformed. At this rate you’re never going to be able to afford to pay me back, especially with the cost of your daily lodging, food, water, air-“

”What’re you gonna do, Ancap? Fire me?”

”No, silly. I’d just sell your contract. Now shut the fuck up and put on people clothes, hippie. You’re booked for the day at triple your base. You’re welcome.”

“I-i... Ancap, I don’t know what half of that means a-and I can’t, I couldn’t find my c-clothes when I woke up and-“

”Those old rags you came in with? Ha! I had those burned. I don’t think you’d want them anyway, Ancom, they were...” he grimaced, “unreasonably sticky.”

Ancom screeched.

”H-hey, let’s be reasonable, Ancom,” he said, tapping the still sitting figure lightly with his finely polished penny loafer, “don’t be so triggered, lefty, you have a perfectly good wardrobe full of perfectly good clothes that you’re probably too stupid to have noticed.”

Ancom could hear his footsteps disappearing, and just when they though Ancap had finally given up and was going to leave them alone to wallow in their sadness, a bundle of clothing was unceremoniously dumped over their head.

“ _Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa_ ,” the let out in annoyance, confusion and anger, but held the garments to their chest for a moment before shakily standing up and closing the door. The ruffling of Ancom dressing themself could be heard, and then another exasperated scream, “This looks stupid! I’m not wearing a bowtie! W-why are you like this??”

”But Ancom,” Ancap said from the other side of the door, “you always look stupid. Now you’ll just look charmingly stupid. And the bowtie is staying. What’s wrong with the bowtie?”

Ancom slammed the door open, looking utterly disheveled, both the slacks and button up Ancap had chosen for them were at least a size too big, and the bowtie that Ancap had picked solely for it looking like a little cat face, was twisted into an unrecognizable state. He reached forward and undid and retied it, accepting there wasn’t much else to do for untailored clothes. “Ok, there, now you look slightly less stupid.”

”What’s t-the point of dressing me up like a doll if... if you’re just going to ruin it again?

”Ancom,” he said, slapping them on the back, “isn’t it more fun to unwrap a present than have it handed to you?” Ancom winced at his words, shaking their head briefly to try to chase away thoughts of the previous day. 

”Now... how about we get some gluten-free avocados, or whatever it is you people eat.”

”Ancap, sorry but not even remotely sorry, I-I, just want to go home, and literally never see you. Or talk to you. Or think about you again. You are literally the worst, possibly worse than fucking Nazi at this point and-“

”How you wound me, Kitty! The pain!” he sounded like his typical sarcastic self but, the way Ancap’s brows furrowed, how his mouth twisted, hinted that maybe Ancom was actually managing to get under his skin. Ancom continued their tirade until a comically loud growl from their stomach made them pause. 

”...gluten-free, you say?”

”Sure, Ancom. If that’s what you want,” Ancap responded, sounding off, distant, “the glutenlessest,” he replied, and began half-leading, half-dragging Ancom in the direction of the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter only exists because writing the previous one made me too sad. So now, congrats, have some Ancom and Ancap shenanigans. Also Ancap is still the fucking worse I just legally have to have him have an ounce of remorse in his stupid, smug body or I’ll need a major character death tag to sleep at night.


	4. That Part Where We Almost Had Lib Unity but Ancap and Ancom Had a Verbal Dispute in a Hallway Instead. (Ancap/Ancom)

Ancom absentmindedly picked at the mix of various vegetables Ancap had ordered for them, moving the food around the plate more than they were eating any of it. Even though they hadn't had anything since before they'd went to visit Ancap, they had no appetite. The chair they were in was softly cushioned, with elegant carved wood, and was downright comfy. But, each time Ancom shifted their weight, even slightly, sharp pain shot up their spine. The dining hall was extravagant, much too flashy for Ancom's tastes but probably perfect for Ancap's. Though the room was quite large, there were only four or five tables, all spaced very far apart. Given the nature of the establishment, Ancom didn't really have to guess why. They scowled to themself as they bit into a slice of raw pepper, crunching it violently in their mouth. It was hard not to be angry, with Ancap right across from them, waving around a breadstick to emphasize his points. It was hard not to feel the rage boiling, if they didn't feel so tired, so sore, so completely done, they'd probably be shaking Ancap by his collar and yelling at him. Instead, they picked at their plate. Instead, they nodded at Ancap as he explained the intricacies of the Ancapistan economy for the dozenth time, retaining nothing. Ancap hadn't shut up since he'd collected Ancom that morning. Ancom cared about absolutely nothing the man had to say. No platform for non-consensual commodification, thank you very much! He'd mentioned something about this being a rewarding career for burnouts like Ancom. That this was probably the best favor anyone had ever, or would ever, do for them. The yellow-clad man had explained it to them, but Ancom was too exhausted to process much of any of it, or care. They wished they were still asleep.

"Ancom," the man continued, with a mouth full of bread, "maybe I should have been more thorough in explaining what's expected of you here. I know, I know. It's my fault that-" Ancom glanced up, shocked that Ancap seemed to actually be trying to apologize to them, or, you know, acknowledge he was wrong, "-you preformed so terribly on your first day. Truly awful! I should have taught you some etiquette before your debut, or trained you instead of just assuming your performance in the past was an indicator of future success!"

The fork clattered out of Ancom's hand and clinked loudly against the plate, the anarchist staring Ancap down in shock, horror, and disgust. It took every once of willpower in their body to not leap across the table and strangle Ancap to death with their own two bare hands. Was that really all the little narcissist had to say to them? They hated him. There wasn't a shred of human decency in Ancap's entire body, of that Ancom was convinced. "You fucking. _What_?"

"If anything, that was a compliment, Kitty. No need to sound so mad," he took another bite of bread, "I'm just saying you're normally so... enthusiastic. You know people book you longer when you aren't fucking like a dead fish, right?"

"...you watched?", they replied in a small voice, brows knitting together.

"Not anymore than I'd monitor anyone else," he said, pointing the half eaten breadstick at them, "If anything, it's for your safety. You should be thanking me, Ancom. I mean, Jesus Christ. How many times do I have to remind Conservative that assholes don't self-lubricate? I've got to pop in from time to time to make sure my employees aren't being Jack the Ripper'd or Dahmer'd. That's just responsible business practice."

"That was... live? Like, a real-time, live message? _That was you watching?_ " They felt sick.

"Are you fucking stupid," he replied, raising an eyebrow, "of course it was. What, do you think I have a dry anal detector bot scanning the room?" He paused, pulling out his phone and checking something, "I mean, yes, that would be so useful. But no, they don't seem to exist yet."

"You watched people... y-you _watched_ p-people... _raping me._ And all you have to say is if I had acted as if I was more into the process, maybe people would have paid you to rape me for longer? Like that's a good thing? Like that's something I should want? Ancap, what the fuck is wrong with you??" they shook, a well of emotions churning inside them, feeling tears pooling in their eyes and threatening to spill. They slammed their fists on the table, staring at Ancap in a way that screamed 'if you say something stupid right now I will end your bloodline'. Ancap chuckled nervously, adjusting his tie.

"Yyyyeeeeahh, so, Ancom. We don't really like using that word around here. And they paid you for your consent, not me! Your wage balance is evidence enough it was an equal exchange. And, come on! Your listing is as default as they come right now, you haven't even opted into nonconsent play," Ancap clicked a few buttons on his phone and showed it to Ancom, "see? You haven't opted in for groups, for any of the BDSM roles, none of the taboo kinks, really for anything but standard single-payer vanilla."

"That doesn't mean it wasn't rape, Ancap! What the fuck even is this??"

Ancap cocked his head, "It's the listing categories? I went over them with you yesterday. You kept saying no, so I opted you out of all of them. I was honestly surprised you said no to-"

"I was saying no to being kidnapped! I was saying no to my body autonomy being taken from me!" Ancom cried in exasperation, waving their arms to emphasize their point, "I wasn't paying attention to most of the shit you were saying yesterday!! I was too busy losing my shit waking up tied to a wall!"

"But, you love being tied to stuff?"

"No you, you... fucking... _kulak_ ," they grit their teeth, parroting one of Commie's usual insults because they knew it annoyed Ancap, "I didn't ask for this. I didn't know those people. Clearly, I don't even really know you, since you think any of this is ok. How fucking delusional do you have to be to try to convince yourself any of this is ok?"

"I don't understand, Ancom. "

"Of course you don't! Of course!"

Ancom pushed their chair away from the table suddenly, knocking over their chair in the process. They didn't seem to notice, too busy making their way towards the door.

"Anarkitty, what are you doing?" Ancap called after them, and they could hear the hasty clattering of him following behind, but they ignored the man, "Ancom! Stop!"

They had just gotten through the door when they felt Ancap's grip on their right arm, tight and unwelcome. They tried to shake him off. Ancap was still holding them when they entered the labyrinth of a hallway, turning their head and surveying the many interconnected corridors, trying their best to remember where they'd come from. Unsure, for a moment, if that was even the best move. They just wanted to find an exit. Would tracing their way back to the room Ancap had put them in even get them outside? They took a step forward, wincing as Ancap's grip tightened.

"Stop it, you're just going to get yourself lost," Ancap told them bitterly, refusing to loosen his grip.

"Fuck off, Ancap," they said, wincing "you're hurting me. Let go. And, I mean literally, let me go. Also figuratively."

"Ancom, stop it. Don't act like this, we were having a nice lunch-"

"No! We weren't!" they twisted around, snarling at Ancap, "maybe you were having a nice time, maybe you're enjoying this, but I'm not, Ancap?! Clearly, I'm not, and if you cared about anyone but yourself you'd understand that! I hate you. I hate what you've done to me. I hate it here. I hate you, I hate you, I fucking hate you!"

"Ancom-" he said, sounding taken aback, his hold loosening momentarily. Just enough time, though, for Ancom to break out of his grip. The liberal anarchist was making their way down one of the corridor junctions, and Ancap picked up the pace to keep up. This continued for two, three, four different hallways, all with their own turns, until Ancom finally stopped and punched the closest wall. Tears of anger and frustration and betrayal were turning their eyes and cheeks red, and they let out an animalistic whine. Ancap reached a tentative hand to their shoulder, but Ancom immediately slapped it away.

"Ancom, " he said, "work with me here! I am trying. For fuck's sake, I even tried to make a day of calming your libtard ass down, and this is what it gets me! What was I supposed to do? Not make you my debt slave after you paid for drugs with bussy, dick, and pocket change for six months straight? Hmmm??"

"If you'd actually told me I was paying with the wrong kind of money, that never would have been an issue!"

"If you weren't such an idiot, you would realize no one sells an entire bag of ecstasy for one-and-a-half cents!"

"I thought you _liked_ me!" they whined back, sounding pained.

" _I do like you_!"

"You don't! You don't, you piece of shit, you-" Ancom was cut off mid-sentence as Ancap kissed them. They froze. Their eyes were open, and they stared at Ancap in shock, skin crawling as he wrapped his left hand in their hair and tried to deepen the kiss. When Ancap's tongue lapped at their teeth, demanding entry, they finally gathered up the strength to act, forcefully shoving him off of them. They winced when doing so made Ancap accidentally pull their hair in the process. Ancap stared at them, pulling down his sunglasses to make eye contact with Ancom.

"I kinda thought we were having a moment there."

"W-well, you thought wrong. I don't... I don't want you t-to, to touch me," they crossed their arms, staring down at the floor, and continued softly, "I don't want you. Not anymore."

Ancap adjusted his glasses back into place, "T-that, uh. I guess that would make the rest of the day a bit awkward, then." He'd pulled out his phone again, and was tapping incessantly. 

"A-ancap... what are you doing?"

"Canceling the rest of our session? Blacklisting my customer account from yours?"

"Why?"

"Don't you want me to?"

"I don't even know what it means..?"

Ancap's eyebrows threaded together, "You really didn't pay attention to _anything_ , did you?"

"Then... explain it again! I'm listening now."

"If a client is not to your liking, particularly rude, violent, disrespectful, you can lodge a complaint to the board, well, to me. And, if I approve your grievance, that customer can no longer book you for sessions. Trying to do so, or to circumvent a blacklisting without it being formally overturned is a direct violation of the NAP. Just consider this one... expedited."

"What if I want to blacklist everyone from last night?"

"If you had legitimate grievances with every customer you had one day, fine. "

"Well, I'm being serious. I do. I do, have grievances. I want to blacklist everyone from last night."

"The board has been consulted. They have convened. They say no."

Ancom roughly poked Ancap's chest, "Well... I appeal."

"On what grounds?"

"Lack of consent. Lack of regard for their sex partner. Being the actual worst. And finally, fucking while sober, your honorless. "

Ancap flashed a grin, as if they were playing a game now, "The board recognizes your right to appeal but strikes it down on the following grounds- firstly, you earned," he checked his phone, whispering yeesh under his breath, "0.037 BTC for your full shift, and even though that is pathetic as hell, it still proves mutual exchange. Second, seeing as all your limbs are still attached and you didn't require medical care, you were pretty well regarded. I can get the tapes for the next three days or so, but I do think I recognized a few Kitty o-faces as well," Ancom's eyes darted to the floor again, cheeks burning in humiliation, "thirdly, none of your clients were communists, and therefore, cannot be the worst anything. Fucking while sober stands, though. But the board's decision is not overturned."

"So I can't block my literal rapists, but you've made the noble sacrifice of blocking yourself?"

"Honestly, you kind of killed the mood. And stop calling clients that! And it's not some sacrifice, it's what you wanted!"

"Don't tell me what I want!"

"Do you _want_ to have sex with me today?"

"Of course the fuck not!"

"Then it's what you want?!"

"What I want," Ancom shouted at him, "is to go home! And pretend none of this ever happened!"

Ancap rubbed his temples, groaning, "Can you just, be reasonable, for once? You can go home once you've paid me back, you know that already. Whining about not making enough money to do so after your first day of work doesn't make it happen sooner. Don't paint me out to be some evil bad guy just because you don't know how currency works."

"I'm not painting you out to be anything! You're the one accepting money from strangers to let them r-"

Ancap grabbing their chin and squished their lips with his fingers, "I told you not to use that word."

They slapped the yellow-suited narcissist, hard, trying to make him let go of them. He did. There was silence, heavy in the air. Ancap slowly raised a hand to his face, rubbing the cheek Ancom had struck.

"I. CANNOT. BELIEVE. You just VIOLATED. THE NAP," Ancap said with purpose, and thinly masked embarrassment, "You can't hit me! I own you!"

"You deserve to be hit," Ancom said in a low voice, poking his chest again, "you deserve worse. Didn't you violate your own stupid en ape pee by... all of this? How is abduction allowed? Or, or, being this much of a dickhole??"

He narrowed his eyes, "I could make your life here a lot harder, you know."

"Is that a threat?"

"More like a promise."

"As if your word is worth anything!"

"Apparently, worth a lot more than you!"

"...w-what?"

Ancap placed his hand around Ancom's throat, not quite squeezing, but still menacing. Ancom's hands darted up and grabbed his wrist. Ancap's grip tightened, ever so softly. They took a step back, and he followed, until Ancom was pressed against the wall. He leaned into Ancom's ear, his voice coming out sternly, "I don't think you get it. I. Own. You."

"Y-you, you can't... own people," they trembled, gripping at Ancap's wrist tighter, as if that'd make him stop, "A-ancap... stop."

"Hate to break it to you sweetheart," he said, breath hot on their ear, "but I can, and I do. And one of the stupid fucks I own is you, so if you don't want me to, say, lower your rate, or add a few fun tags, since it's all the same level of unbridled violation to you, maybe shut the fuck up. Just shut. The fuck. Up."

Ancom panted, lips quivering, looking at Ancap like he'd just killed their cat. Ancap had forgotten about the cat. But, didn't Ancom live with all those hippie losers? The cat was probably fine. He tightened his grip, watching Ancom squirm and gasp until their eyes started rolling back, and then, just as suddenly, let go. He brushed his hands off on his suit pants, sighing. "I'm taking you back to your room. Don't be a little bitch about it."

They silently trailed behind him the full way, no smart quips, no complaints. Several times Ancap had to look behind himself to make sure Ancom was still there. They looked smaller, somehow. They said nothing as Ancap opened the door to their room. Ancom walked inside with nervous hesitation, making their way to the mattress. When they turned around, they were both confused and relieved that Ancap hadn't followed, the door had been carefully, quietly closed. Ancom collapsed to their knees, gripping their head, breathing as deeply and slowly as they could. They wailed like a wounded beast, unsure for how long. They jumped at every small sound they heard, with morbid certainty that someone would come through the door and hurt them at any second. After perhaps an hour, maybe longer, had passed, they stood up on wobbling knees. They made their way to the bathroom, carefully locking the door behind them even though Ancap had shown them doing so was useless. They peeled off the stupid, uncomfortable clothes Ancap had made them wear, got into the showertub combo, pulled the curtain closed. They turned the water as hot as it would go, staring at the wall in silence. Their breath becoming more and more uneven with each passing second. Finally, they screamed, and kept screaming.

They slammed their fists, their head, against the hard tile wall. There was no shame in crying over being in pain. They were in pain. Why were there no more tears? The screaming stopped. They sat down. They curled in on themself, letting the scalding water rain down on them. When they finally reached up to turn it off, their skin was bright pink all over. Ancom had to look around a bit to actually find towels, but once they found them and got relatively dry they were the calmest they'd been since the entire mess started. They left the bathroom, and stopped midstep. They stared.

On the mattress, neatly folded, was a near carbon copy of their favorite green hoodie, cleaner than the real thing had ever been. Ancom darted their eyes around the room, waiting for something terrible to follow. They picked it up. It was soft, and warm, familiar, and they couldn't help hugging it to their chest. The tears finally came as they zipped the hoodie up, laying down on the mattress and covering themself with the blankets entirely, keenly aware that Ancap was probably watching the whole thing unfold. They put up their hood, even though there was no point in doing so. It was just as pointless as Ancap's sunglasses, but it was nice to have their head covered again. It just felt nice to have it back. It felt nice. It felt normal.

They kept waiting for something to ruin it, for things to be bad again. Instead, they were alone. They fell asleep. They dreamt of nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, oops. So, another unplanned chapter because exposition? Back to our regularly scheduled smut in the next chapter.


End file.
